Bonfire Remembered


 I write today's blog for the parents of the 12 Aggies who lost their lives in the wee morning hours of November 18, 1999. Being a mom now myself I want them to know that their precious babies will always be remembered. The sheer enormity of this tragedy seems to hit me harder every year as I watch my own children grow up.



Bonfire '98. My brother, Jacob was still in
high school and I was a Junior at A&M.



I attended my first Aggie Bonfire the Fall of 1998, my Junior year, my 2nd semester but my 1st football season at Texas A&M University. My little brother came down to see it with me. It was awesome!! To say I was amazed is truly an understatement. The site of it burning and the heat radiating off it was unbelievable. By far my favorite Yell Practice yet.

One year later on the night of November 17, 1999 I went to bed in the 3 bedroom duplex I shared with my 2 college roommates. I was a Small Group leader in Aggie Sister's for Christ. Our small group had met that night. We had talked about going out to stack to roast marshmallows, but we decided it was too cold and were told that there was burn ban so we wouldn't have been allowed to anyways. Besides we had walked past it during the day and stopped and taken pictures already. We didn't need to go out there again, right? All was well with the world until one my roommates rushed into my room a little after 6:30 a.m. the morning of November 18, 1999, saying, "Stack fell! The Bonfire stack fell!" Soon after, my phone rang. It was my mom calling me to see if I was OK. She had seen it on the news. I turned on the t.v. to the see the live feed of bonfire being built on the polo fields. Sure enough we saw it had completely collapsed. It was bad! A devastation! We were totally in shock! I’m not sure I could ever fully put it into words. I had never worked on Bonfire and didn’t feel entitled to the emotions I was experiencing. But with that said, Aggies are family, and if any Aggie is lost we all grieve for them. It is this very sense of family that made me fall in love with Texas A&M.

Max and I had just met that summer. He told me later that he rode his bike to class that morning, but his normal route was blocked off and he felt so helpless in not being allowed near the site to help. We all felt helpless! Later in the day I began calling all my small group members to see if we wanted to meet up and go to the candle light vigil together. When I called Natalie her roommate answered the phone. I told her why I was calling and she said, "You didn't hear? Is someone with you?" No. Why? What? Is Natalie OK? "Jerry died." I just hung up crying. Jerry Self was Natalie's ex-boyfriend/ best friend. We had recently hung out with them at the ASC formal in Dallas. I still have the picture of Max and I that Jerry took and a group picture of all of us. Earlier my roommate got the news that a friend of hers, Miranda Adams, had died in the collapse. Other friend's of mine also knew the young Freshman that lost her life far too early so I got hear lots of fabulous things about her although I never knew her myself.  

The next day the radio kept playing the Sarah Mclachlan song "In the arms of the angels" with over lay of President Bush, the President Texas A&M Dr. Ray Bowen, and students talking about the tragedy between verses. The words "You are pulled from the wreckage. Of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort there ..." kept running through my brain over and over and over again. I just cried hysterically every time I would hear it. I still think of bonfire and tear up when I hear that song.
Walking around campus that week was eerie; we didn’t know how to cope with the loss we’d just suffered. Silence was everywhere only to be muffled occasionally by the sound of someone breaking down and crying. The intensity of the mourning was unreal. Also, I felt terribly guilty for wanting to leave College Station for Thanksgiving but I did it anyway. The entire time thinking of those who lost their child, brother, sister, cousin, niece, nephew, etc. Also, my thoughts and prayers were with the injured and their families as well.
My mom went with me to Jerry's funeral. We met some of my friend's at Natalie's parent's house first. That was the last day I ever saw Natalie. She was so broken hearted. I think she transferred back home. I didn't want to walk to the front to view his body. I remember there were so many people there that some were standing inside and outside of the church.

The Aggie Spirit is true and very real. I can still visualize the wall of letters, flowers, candles, and Aggie rings as well as other items that were left nearby. Groups of people were constantly praying at the site of the fall, on campus, everywhere.

To the 12 who died, you will forever be in my heart… and you will never be forgotten.