Missed Training Opportunity

I have found that on the weekends I kind of check out and deflect all parenting issues to my husband. Case in point, my daughter spoke rudely to an adult (a good friend of mine) when we were walking from the parking lot to the restaurant to have dinner with their family. I dropped the parenting ball. All I did was say, "Well, you don't have to be so rude. She was just asking you a question," and just left it at that. In my mind I was thinking 2 things: 1) I'm totally starving! I can't believe we've waited this late to eat dinner. I truly cannot think straight when I'm hungry. I worked out that morning and did not eat lunch and by now it was 6:30 p.m. (Once inside we found it to be a good 30 minute wait for our table and with a 17 month old busy boy it was not easy). I like to eat on time and so do my kids and when we don't we get cranky and snappy. Max is not like that, thank God. 2) I'm busy with Rhett (as usual) so I'm sure Max will handle it. He had recently expressed an interest in taking a larger role in parenting. In my mind I pictured Max taking her aside and privately having the normal discussion I would with her, but that didn't happen. I shouldn't have expected that because we had never discussed it ahead of time. I just didn't want to step on his toes in front of our friends if he wanted to handle it. I thought it might build his confidence in parenting if he did, not to mention give me a break. But I think he froze like a deer in headlights when given the opportunity to correct his child because he is so used to me doing it and shocked him that his precious daughter could be so disrespectful.
         Had this happened on a weekday and it was just me and the kids I would have been in mommy-mode and reacted quickly. I would have had my daughter stop walking immediately and come around the corner to talk with me about her bad choice and how she felt about it, a better choice she should have made and will make next time, and what she would like to do to make restitution. Had I been in my right parenting mind I would have given her the the consequence of not being allowed to sit by her best friend during dinner because if she can't speak kindly to her friend's mother then I don't know if she will be able to speak kindly to her friend so she will sit by me to practice respectful manners. Maybe the next time we go out with them she will remember how to answer an adult's question politely. Then we would go inside with the rest of the group and she would make restitution with the adult she disrespected. But that didn't happen. Instead, she got away with it and I denied her the opportunity to learn appropriate social skills from her mistake.
         The reason I decided to blog about this is because Max and I never discussed the incident at all, but at 3 a.m. that night my he woke me up to ask if I thought he should have said something to our daughter about her behavior. It was funny because I was awake thinking about it too. I was thinking about how we looked like bad parents in front of our friends, but also how her behavior is expected for her age (although not acceptable) and how I so wanted Max to have said something to her. I wanted him to be the one to demand respect from her. I never conveyed this to him and I don't resent him for it. But I sure was glad when he told me it was bothering him too :) Oh well, better luck next time. Besides, the Lord will give us many more opportunities to "train her in the way she should go." Proverbs 22:6. Parents have to learn from their mistakes just as kids do.