An Eye Opener for this Wife

As soon as my husband walked in the door I gave him directions about dinner and the kids, kissed him bye and rushed out the door. Then I got in the car to go get my haircut. I was turning through the radio stations trying to find a good song, but could only find comercials until I stopped on 100.7 fm. They were talking about how Christian marriages have just as high of a divorce rate as anyone else and about what we must do to get the passion back for our spouse while in the midst of raising small kids. I was intrigued so I kept listening. It turned out that they were talking about a new book out called Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Solomon's Crazy in Love How-To Manual by Dr. David Clarke. As I listened I heard something that really hit home, "mom's get too wrapped up in the kids just like dad's become work-a-holics." They said in their discussion how when dad comes home he and mom need to spend about the 1st 10 to 15 minutes talking to each other alone. I tell parents this all the time in my presentations and coaching, but I don't really follow it myself. The kids need to get in the habit of not rushing to see daddy until after he and mommy have had a chance to talk first. They need to get in the habit of not interrupting mom and dad's quiet time together. Mom and dad come first, the kids come second. That's actually kind of hard for me to hear. One man said that he told his kids about his wife, "She was the original you came along later." But the woman host of the show said, "but sometimes I need to get dinner started before we can talk or the kids genuinely need me. I feel guilty about leaving the kid's with a sitter to go on a date with my husband. Sometimes I feel like I have to choose between being a wife or being a mother."  Boy can I relate to all of that. I barely speak to Max until right before we fall asleep in bed at the end a long day. One of the men on the radio show said that his wife told him that she couldn't just drop everything and sit and talk because she had things that just had to get done as they were raising 4 kids. She told him that if he would help more when he got home then her chores would be done sooner and she would be more able to sit and talk. So he did. He said even after a long hard day of work he would come home and get to work at his second job trying help his wife. He began to leave work early to make family a priority even though he was worried about it hurting their income, but instead he says, the Lord rewarded him for putting family first and work second with a higher income somehow. He said he had to always check himself to make sure wasn't falling back into his work-a-holic ways and I think as a I wife I should do the same to make sure I'm not putting my job as mom first before the honor of being Max's wife.

Anyways, it was just really good and what I needed to hear. It was nice to hear that other Christians struggle with the same things as me. I just don't want to look at my husband years from now after the kids are moved out and not even know him or care about him because I chose to be so distracted by raising a family that I neglected to nurture my marriage and the 2nd most important relationship to God in my life. I love you Max.