I had to take the 'ole swagger wagon in for maintenance last week. I always hate when the maintenance light comes on because I know all it means is that I need an oil change, but it never fails that as soon as I pull up and tell the service men that they run my info in the computer and surprise, surprise I also need a new air filter, battery, and whatever else they can up sell me on. It is so frustrating, it always takes longer than they thought, and I never ever get out of there spending less than $250.
This time I thought I would drop Kellyn off at school and go straight there in the hopes of being the first in line and not having to wait too long with Rhett. Since they told Max over the phone that it would only take 45 minutes I decided to give myself a little Mommy experiment.
Hypothesis:
I can handle 2 hours in the waiting room of a car dealership with a 3 1/2 year old boy without giving him my iphone to pacify him.
I successfully completed the experiment, but I will confess it was more tempting for me to want to give him my iphone than for him. He never once asked for it and all he had was a box of about 6 animals and an extra large plastic Easter Egg. He didn't scream, pout, or throw one tantrum! We played, laughed, met a man that speaks 5 languages, and then 2 hours later he watched mommy yell at the people who worked on her minivan because it took 1 hour longer than they said. However, the ladies at the desk complimented his good behavior which of course I took as a compliment to my parenting skills. ;)
Why did I do this?
I believe humans learn social skills by interacting with other humans. I believe children learn through observation. They are like sponges watching our every move and soaking in everything that is modeled before them.
Plus, I am always telling parents to lessen technology in their children's lives so I felt like I should practice what I preach. I wanted to gain empathy for parents and I wanted to be able to say, "If I can do it you can do it. It will be tougher on you than it is on them." Child have a natural need to connect with their parent not their iphone or ipad. I wanted to give him the technology "paci," to keep him quiet so I wouldn't be embarrassed or both anyone around us not because he needed it or even wanted, but because I wanted my time and my space. I could have caught up on reading if I had just given him the phone. Yes, technology would have made my wait more bearable, but would it make me a better parent, help us connect, build my son's public social skills? No. Instead of seeing a mom and son interacting in that small waiting room those people waiting with us would have seen a mom and son sitting in chairs with their heads down not connecting, not communicating, not interacting with each other or the public. I get it, I get that it's hard and it's tempting to just had them your iphone or ipad to keep them still and quiet and you can even justify it by putting educational games on for them, but I urge you to use self-control and try not to hand over that connection breaking device so quickly and easily. Allow them to feel discomfort, frustration, boredom....These are all normal human emotions they will have to feel as adults. By allowing them to feel them as children we, the parent, can teach them how to deal with these emotions appropriately and develop patience and good problem solving skills.
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