Maxx Love Mills

Oh how hard this has been to write. Two days after I got back from my Gran's funeral I got a call on Monday, December 7. It was in the afternoon while I was fixing dinner. It was Jennifer Patterson. She had called to tell me that my dear friend, Maxx Mills, was in a motorcycle accident and was on life support. He would be gone in a few days. I went to high school with Maxx, but more than that. He lived in Bartonville near me. There weren't many of us that went to Liberty Christian School and lived in Bartonville. Most people lived in Denton, but it was me, Jacob Patterson, and Maxx Mills. And Jacob and Maxx were at my house a lot. They were a huge part of my childhood. I am flooded with emotion as I remember him. I learned in the days to follow that his actual name was Max Loye Mills. :) He tricked us all. He always told us he had an extra X at then end of his name and that his middle name was Love. We all suspected that it wasn't, but he was such a smooth talker. Growing up in Bartonville, he and Jacob Patterson were like brothers to me, crazy ass brothers who would come over to make dirt bike trails in the back pasture and jump their bikes over the stock tank (they didnt always make it and landed in the water, bike and all.) Maxx was so sweet and kind to me, always sticking up for me the way a big brother would. He was like a son to my mother even coming to see her while I was at college. I know he made bad choices, but I know he loved Jesus and I know he accepted the gift grace. I am grateful for the impact he had on my life and that he left this world the way he always wanted. He is surrounded by God's glory now.

I have so many good memories of him. I loved him dearly like a brother. In fact the last thing he texted me was, “I love you, Sister.” That was in May 2015. He had texted me to ask if he would be allowed to attend our 20 year high school reunion coming up next year. He really wanted to go. I was beyond excited when I saw him at Coach Bowls funeral in October 2013. I was literally moved to tears at the precious site of him. I remember him saying, “Well don’t cry, Sister.” He hugged me so tight and for so long like a big bear hug from an older brother who had been lost, but was now found. I just couldn’t believe it was really him after all these years. He was out of prison and married to Andrea, was attending Bible study with Jacob and Kraig and I was doing really well. I was just so happy for him. I was grateful to Jacob for always keeping me up to date on Maxx and for always being the good, loyal friend he needed to get him back on the right path.

He was such a kind and caring person, always putting others first. You would be hard pressed to find anyone with a bigger heart than Max Loye Mills. I remember back in high school one day all the girls were in their Bible class and all the boys were in their Bible class and we were told to vote for who we wanted to be on the homecoming court that year. Miraculously I got voted on to the homecoming court. I learned later that Maxx got all the guys the vote for me. I think he knew I had such low self-esteem and that it would really boost my confidence. He has always denied it, insisting that I got on court on my own merit, but I know he was the ring leader in the boy’s Bible class that day convincing them all vote to for his sister friend. 

I know he made some terrible, self destructive choices in his life, but I also know he loved Jesus and he had accepted the gift grace and was saved by the blood of Jesus. I can remember sitting outside on our trampoline with Kristin, Angie, and Sarah, and listening for Maxx’s motorcycle to zoom towards us. We could hear when he left Jacob’s house and when he was coming over the big hill. To this day when I drive down Jeter Road toward my parents’ house I always glance over at his old house just out of habit. For years and years every time I saw a motorcycle I silently wondered to myself if that was Maxx. He always said he would die on his bike and he came close to it many times, but when it actually happened it was so shocking and surprising and stunning, but all at the same time. 

I can remember many knocks on my window late at night when the girls were sleeping over. Max always managed to crash our sleepovers and study sessions. He always, always had a smile on his face. He was brilliant! He never had to study and could ace any test just by hearing the information once. He was gifted and talented athlete. I remember him being so good at pole-vaulting. He just picked up the pole one day and threw himself up and over higher than anyone. I remember how the teachers at Liberty loved him and let him get away so much because he was just so cute and sweet and such a smooth talker. He flashed that gorgeous, endearing smile and all was forgiven. I remember Amy Metz having a surprise intervention for him at her house, but instead of him being shocked and upset and running out he soaked up the undivided attention we gave in that circle that night. :) I remember one night in high school we were all standing around a large bonfire at Bryan Denny's house and Maxx just decided to jump that bonfire. No one dared him. He just announced that he was going to run and jump over the fire and he did. He singed one of his eyebrows off then later shaved the other one off. He was a crazy ass gifted athlete with no eyebrows. 
I remember him and Jacob making dirt bike trails in my parents’ back pasture. Trails that remain there still today and I remember Maxx trying to jump the stock tank, but not making it and landing right in the middle, bike and all soaking wet. :) He was a good, faithful, loyal friend who defended my honor when I had terrible boyfriend who belittled me one day in front of him. I want to remember him this way. I choose to remember him this way. That is the Maxx Love Mills I knew. :) The one who loved deeply and drove recklessly. He was a blessing to me and I am so beyond grateful for the impact he had on my life. I pursued a masters degree in educational psychology because of my interactions with him. I have so many more wonderful memories. Too many to write, but I will keep Maxx’s memory alive. 

This is the last and one of the only pictures I have of Maxx and I. It was October 2013 and I was 6 months pregnant with #3 and had been crying because we were at the visitation for one of our high school coaches who also died in a motorcycle accident. I cried the second I saw Maxx! I hadn't seen him in 12 years. I cried so hard I couldn't see. He said, "don't cry sister." He had made some different choices and end up in prison for 10 years. But I knew his heart and know who he really was. A few short months after this picture was taken he went down a  bad path again. :( I spent a life time worrying and wondering about him, waiting for that call that I knew would come. Then it did and now I don't have to worry anymore. I'm just so so heartbroken for his mother. I know he never would have wanted her to feel this kind of pain. The pain of losing her baby boy. He could have done so much more with his life. But his demons got the best of him or he chose to give into them. Kids, do not ride motorcycles, do not due drugs, and most importantly you must surround yourself with friends who love Jesus and will hold you accountable and not expose you to bad things. 

I rode with Kristin to the funeral and we sat with Jennifer and Robin. It's neat to see us all together, but under sad circumstances. We were all cheerleaders together back in the day. On this day we gathered together to love on Maxx's mom and family. He would have wanted us to take care of his momma that way. He had tattooed across his knuckles, Momma's Boy. 

After that long hard, emotionally exhausting day I really needed to snuggle with my sweet baby girl. I cried so much in Priscilla's first 3 months of life. So much grief in such a short amount of time. It all hit me and burst over that night. I was tired physically from caring for a new baby morning, noon, and night while also caring for an almost 2 year old, a 6 year old, and a 9 year all juggling all their activities and assignments and trying to keep dinner on the table each night. Then always crying over being about to lose Miss Lily so many times then her actually passing, then my Gran, then Maxx. My hormones couldn't take it and the flood gates burst open and it wasn't pretty.