Rhett, being a 2 year old, has started to say NO a lot now so I have come up with a new saying for him to replace the one I don't like and it is the sweetest thing ever to hear him say it. Whenever he says, NO! I say, "Rhett, it's not polite to tell Mommy no." Then he says in the sweetest little voice ever, "Yes, Mommy." But he says it like this, Yeth, Mommy. It just melts me.
Kellyn requested to be filmed too.
The only problem with teaching him to say "Yes, Mommy" is that Kellyn has started making him say "Yes, Sissy" whenever he tells her no. We've had to have a little talk about who is the Mommy who is the kid.
Now talking as a Parent Coach, just as you can replace one word with another you can also replace one behavior with another. For example, if your child hits another child or an animal use it as a learning and teaching opportunity and teach him what to do or how to greet others instead of hitting. Boys tend to be more physical anyways so they may respond better to physical touch. First apologize to the child he hit then quickly have your child make restitution with that child. Rather than forcing them to apologize have them help the child up, get them a band aid or ice pack, kiss the spot they hit, give them a hug to make them feel better or whatever you find appropriate because chances are, your 2 year old boy is not sorry for hitting because hitting doesn't necessarily mean what we might think he means. To a 2 year old boy hitting another child or an adult might mean, "Hello, New person," or, "Scoot back. You are in my personal space" or "I'm so excited!" Regardless of what it means it is not socially acceptable, safe, or kind to hit others. That is where you come in as the parent and educator to teach your child social skills. After the child has made restitution physically take their hand and show them how to touch another person's arm or an animal's fur by stroking it on the child they hit or on your own arm so they can have a physical memory of what it feels like and what to do next time. Show them and tell them what they CAN do instead of what they can't. If you have already taught your child how to touch instead of hit and they still defiantly hit then you need to give them an immediate consequence then go back to make restitution and practice how to touch appropriately again. The problem is that when parents say, "NO! We don't hit!" then put the child in time out and force an apology they didn't actually teach their child anything. The child hears NO then has to use his 2 year old brain to think of something else to do, can't, then just does it again, but if you show your child what you really want them to do when you say, "NO don't do that," then they have new physical, verbal, and audible information to draw on to help them figure how what to do. At this age, both of my children have had a need for an "angry ball" I keep one in my purse and one in the house. Whenever I see them getting upset I hand it to them and they usually bite it or squeeze it or throw it. It is something physical they can do to calm down and still release their anger in an acceptable, physical way.
Another good way you can proactively practice how to touch people, animal and things appropriately is at your local fabric store. My daughter used to have a problem grabbing things off the shelves at the grocery store or pulling things off of hangers in the department store. At this young age children are really curious about different textures and what things feel like. So when she was about 19 months old we started walking the rows at Joanne Fabric. I put her in the cart and let her reach over to touch anything she wanted after I had showed her how to touch it gently. When she would grab or pull something I would pull her back, tell her that was not gentle, and let her try again. Practice, practice, practice. This met her need for feeling new textures and helped my shopping trips go smoother as well. Now I take my son to Joanne fabric to practice touching and feeling things appropriately too. This is an example of turning No into Yes. You can choose to spend your time saying, "No! don't touch that" every time you leave your house or you can choose to actually teach your child how to touch something the right way and say, "Touch it gently" so it won't break or spill or even come off the shelf. You will repeat yourself a lot as the mother of a young child so why not repeat something positive instead of something negative.
Here is one of our many practice sessions at Joanne Fabric. And yes, I do get stares, but also smiles. The jewelry was a hard one for both Kellyn and Rhett to not grab and/ or knock down at age 2, but after much practice they got the hang of just touching it gently.
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