When I was pregnant with my 1st I hardly took any pictures. I was so self conscious about my body getting fat I didn't want to document it. I think I took a pic at 20 weeks on the day we found out she was a girl, at my baby showers, and a friend took my pic at a party about 4 days before I delivered. When I was pregnant with #2 I was little less concerned about it and wanted to document a little so I took one at 4 months in front of the Christmas tree and one on Valentine's Day when I was 6 months then again at 8 months because it was April and we always get our picture taken annually in the bluebonnets, and at my baby showers. And now with this being my last time to be pregnant I feel the need to document how I grow and change and how the kids grow and change as well over the next few months. I think I've matured over the years and realize now that I'm not getting fat, I'm growing a human being.
I wrote the 12 week update back before we announced publicly that we were expecting. After I took this picture and realized I was already showing I decided I needed to announce it a week later.
I made it to 12 weeks!!! I'm still so sick and throwing up. But I'm 12 weeks!! In the very beginning I was so cranky and mean because I was paranoid about trying to keep this baby alive and trying not to get too attached. Seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks was reassuring, but not enough to calm my nerves. See the baby again at 8 weeks was great, but seeing it move and jump at 10 weeks really made me feel confident that I could let myself love this baby because it wasn't going away. Making it to 12 weeks means I can kind of relax about the baby surviving. Now I'm cranky and mean because I don't feel good and the progesterone is messing with my moods. I'm so glad we are not in the morning rush of the school year. I think it would cause me to throw up in the car. Hopefully by the time school starts on August 30 I will be better. But please pray for my discouraged attitude to turn back into gratitude. I hate that I am showing at 12 weeks, I've gained 9 lbs in the first trimester (exactly what I lost from months of bootcamp), I'm having major bootcamp withdraw which makes me cry every time I think about it, and I have a chronic sour stomach all day everyday. I can't eat any meat or dairy. All I'm really able to eat is graham crackers with peanut butter and chocolate coconut milk. I take Zofran twice a day and Phenergan at night, but many times this doesn't help. Although, it does help sometimes and it's better than nothing. After I muscle through making dinner by 6:00 at night I'm really bad and put myself on bed rest and Max has to bathe and get the kids down on his own which means they don't go down until 9:00, but I don't say anything because he is trying his best and it is only the summer. I just want to be in control and I want to feel normal and enjoy life again. I don't mean to complain. I am so grateful, truly, for this blessing God has given us I'm just in the tough part of it right now. But the good news is I stop taking progesterone next week which has made me sick and MOODY since I was 6 weeks.
Not able to eat meat or dairy. Eating only peanut or almond butter, graham crackers, and chocolate coconut milk every night for dinner. Trying anti nausea wrist bands and ginger tea.
I've made it another month! After seeing arms and legs and fingers and toes wiggle and move at 14 weeks I feel like I can really let myself get fully attached to this baby now. I feel like I'm in the safety zone. I've been off the progesterone now for 3 weeks and feeling better. I only throw up about once a week now, I don't have a sour stomach all day anymore, my attitude is better and I'm feeling more upbeat. I even ate pizza last night and kept it down! I feel nervous that the baby isn't ok when I don't get sick, but I believe that is just Satan trying to make me fearful when God has already reassured me that he is holding this baby and that it is going to live.
God is so good and really knew what he was doing. I was sick all summer and feeling better literally in the nick of time for the school rush to begin in a week! I was originally due Aug 5 then again Oct. 18. In both cases I would have been sick during the school year. And I would have still been babysitting Elan. One week after our last day keeping Elan I started getting sick.
I am still shocked at how fast this baby bump is popping out. I remember still buttoning my regular jeans at 16 weeks when I was pregnant with Kellyn and just beginning to use a rubber band on the button and button hole with Rhett. We find out what we are having on Thursday, September 19!
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