A Roller Coaster of a Month

Can I just say that I am emotionally and physically exhausted. February was sooooo hard and with the exception of Max's 35th birthday, I am glad to see it go. The first 2 weeks the kids were sick. Nothing major just a lot of coughing and stuffy noses in the middle of the night causing us broken sleep. Then the second half the month we were either too excited to sleep or too worried and upset to sleep.

The month started off so great, but then quickly declined from there. I was in an article about parent coaching in Dallas Child!

But then the car accident happened. It was so scary mostly because Rhett was in the car. And while I was sore and emotionally distraught from it I didn't have the luxury to wallow in it. I am a wife and a mommy of 2 small kids. In fact that night I still cooked dinner and Max had to leave to lead his men's study at the church. I couldn't cry because it upset Rhett and made Max feel bad so I held it in which is not easy for me. I am not the emotionally strong one in the family. I never really processed through my feelings and really grieved the lose of my car which I had been driving since before we had kids. I gave up my '96 Mustang GT for that Mountaineer.

About a week later we bought a minivan. I love it! But I still kind of have to grieve the lose of my identity, I guess. I'm not the cool mom. Now I'm the stereotypical soccer mom and it is a little sad. I know many can't possibly understand why I would be sad to have a new car. I'm not sad to have a new car. I'm so blessed and grateful to have a new car! I'm just a little bummed that I drive a minivan now even though I would highly recommend getting one. It is like driving around in your living room. It makes life with 2 kids so convenient and comfortable. But we weren't planning on a having a new car payment right now that's for sure.

Merely 4 days after getting the minivan we decided to show our house and spent a week frantically cleaning, decluttering, packing, repairing....I was exhausted and worn out from all that. Then we decided to put our house on the market 2 months sooner that we had originally planned so as to keep the momentum up and just get it done.

I'm so glad I took so many fun family pictures of us at the Zoo on Monday because that was the highlight of the day. That afternoon while the kids were resting Max called a lender and we found out that it is quite difficult to get a home loan when you are self employed. Max won't be officially self employed for 1 year until this June. Most lenders want you to have been self employed for 2 years. Physical Therapy is the like the #2 most stable and in demand profession. Max will never be unemployed, but the banks don't care about that. So we had to slow down, reassess and not put our house on the market right now. Which is fine. I've never been in a big hurry to move like Max has been. I'm just disappointed that I did all that work to get the house ready and drive back and forth putting so much stuff in storage all for nothing. I'm just having a tough time transitioning my mind back to not moving. I don't really transition well. We were supposed to get our house staged and photographed the next day then put it on the market 5 days later so I was frantically loading boxes and cleaning.

So the next day (Leap Day) we decided along with our realtor to go ahead and take pictures of the house while it looks so nice and clean so that whether we decide to put the house on the market next month or next year we will have that part done. So we spent the day at the Library for story time then had lunch at Chick-fil-a. It was weird coming home to a staged house. It was like living in a model home, but all your stuff was hidden and you had go on an Easter Egg Hunt to find it all. It was kind of a bummer to move stuff back in and drive way out to my dad's clinic in Flower Mound and reload boxes into my car and bring them back into our house, but at least we have a house and stuff to bring into it.

Now for the worst part. The Betrayal. On Wednesday night, March 1, Max had a meeting with his business partner. Keep in mind that Max has already told all the Staffing Agencies that he worked for that he is starting his own PT Staffing Agency and will be in direct competition with them. Therefore, they have all cut him off and he is not getting any new clients from them. This is scary! We need an income! We thought his own business would be up and running this week, but his business partner has decided to do her own thing and no longer partner with Max despite the fact that they shook hands on a 50/50 partnership. So basically, my husband has been left high and dry to fend for himself. Now we have to scramble to buy this PT software that provides contracts and billing info and all kinds of things he needs to start his own business in this field. We have to now spend way more money than anticipated for the things that his partner had given her word to do. Max is going to try to fly out to Midland in the next few weeks to get trained in all this. He is a PT not a marketer or business man and is now going to have to hire someone to do the marketing and billing and payroll and all that clerical stuff that he was not expecting to have to do. Needless to say he called first thing this morning to get her name taken off the business license. There is more to this story that should not be posted to the public and personal relationships were broken.  I cried so much yesterday and today that my eyes burn and I'm both physically and emotionally drained and just so tired. I'm grieving more than the lose of a business partner. Everything just feels so out of control and unstable right now. I feel like the little the starfish in Finding Nemo who says, "Morning. It's morning, everyone! Today's the day! The sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we are gonna get out of....[gasps] The tank is clean. [yells] The tank is clean!" Everything was going great, but now we need a new plan because someone blindsided us and cleaned our tank. 

So it has been a roller coaster month, but God is good and faithful and loving. I know God has a perfect plan for all this and we will just rest in his perfect timing. Max would have never started his own business if our friend hadn't called him and told him she wanted to partner with him and now she is out of the picture and he is on his own. He thought he couldn't do it without her expertise and knowledge in this business, but it turns out he can and this is how God got him to see that. And I never would have gotten the safe, convenient, comfortable, minivan that has AC in the backseat had that lady never hit my old car that had no AC in the back for my babies. And we would have not found out about this whole self employed loan situation until this summer when it would have been too late if that guy hadn't wanted to see our house before it hit the market. Things happen for a reason and that reason is Jesus. He is the reason and the way things work out. I give all the glory and gratitude to Him. I have such an amazing husband who has a good head on his shoulders and his eyes on Christ. He leads our family well. We have a large amount in savings because of him and I just know that God is going to truly bless his business and guide us to the perfect house at the right time, His time. I can't wait to look back at this post years from know and see the beauty of God's plan shine through.
Ahhhh, I feel better already. I think writing all this down is so cathartic for me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."